Addicted people will use methods to avoid…

ACTIVE ADDICTS  NOT IN RECOVERY ATTEMPT SEVERAL METHODS TO AVOID RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR BEHAVIORS and INTIMACY

They attempt to use deception, denial, rationalization, justification, entitlement, playing victim, minimizing what they did, minimizing and invalidating your needs or emotions, blaming you or anything else, gaslighting (manipulating you to doubt your own reality) promises to stop or get help.

These behaviors are usually a result of a deficit of skills or capacity to deal with big emotions and self-regulate their own nerous sytem.   New skills can be learned, and capacity can be increased, with the right education and support.

Until then, your best defense is BOUNDARIES and specialized betrayal trauma support from specially trained therapists or coaches, education, and a support group of people who are in the same situation as you. Recovery for the addicted person is possible, and those behaviors subside and stop in real recovery, if they want recovery and are willing to do the work.

  See our Module 2: Boundaries Basics: How to Create, Communicate and Enforce Boundaries with a Sexually Addicted Spouse
and
Module 7: Dealing With the Toxic Things My Sexually Addicted Partner Says and Does