What is Betrayal Trauma?
In the context of our own healing from shocking levels of infidelity from porn or affairs, betrayal trauma is what we experience when our committed partner shows us deceptive, betraying behaviors. We saw them as a close connection or a safe attachment. We rely on them for support and survival, and protection from threats. Our home base, our primary connection. Betrayal causes wounds to that attachment, so that it's no longer a “safe attachment”. The person who was supposed to help protect us from harm has harmed us and is no longer safe.
What is APSATS?
The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, (APSATS) is,
“an organization that was created to provide the type of treatment partners need in the face of their spouse’s sexual addiction or serial infidelity. APSATS developed a treatment model that depicted “partners of sex addicts” in a new and different way recognizing the trauma they faced as a result of their spouse’s behaviors and betrayal.”
What is the MPTM?
“APSATS created the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM), which supports working with the partner and the person with addictive behavior using a new orientation that dramatically shifts the perspective of how partners and addicts are viewed in the coupleship.”
the MPTM further breaks out each phase as it applies to the experience of a betrayed partner in healing and recovery. For example, in phase 1 “Safety” there is also discovery, disclosure, relational abuse, stabilization of emotions and triggers, and the need to check for prior treatment induced trauma by professionals who weren't trauma informed.
It‘s vitally important that all professionals providing support and guidance to the betrayed partner, her sexually addicted spouse and the entire family unit, be trauma informed and understand the needs of the betrayed partner for safety. If not, further trauma and harm could unintentionally be inflicted on the betrayed partner, and potentially entire family system.
Please consider joining one of our betrayal trauma informed recovery groups:
Foundations if you've not yet had betrayal trauma informed support:
Clarity and Peace with Boundaries if you are ready to take action on setting and enforcing new empowering boundaries.