Posts by Pam B.
Celebrating my betrayal trauma independance
Today I celebrate my own independence. I’m happily married to my husband who is (finally) in a real recovery of 37 months. But this isn’t about him, it’s about ME. 😎 🎇 I’m celebrating my independence from sex addiction in my life. 🎇I’m celebrating my independence from fear and worry about his recovery or a…
Read MoreAvoiding Future Tripping: Stay out of worry in betrayal trauma relationship recovery
What is Future Tripping? One of the best tools in my betrayal trauma recovery toolkit was how to stay out of worrying about the future. To say I worried, would be an understatement. Rather, I obsessed. I panicked. I triggered over the future. “What if movies” that played in my head about “what might happen”.…
Read MoreEnabling active/unrecovered behavior with a sexually addicted person
“Providing relationship comforts to an active sexually addicted person, even sober, but not in recovery is protecting their addiction and standing in the way of their recovery.” Also known as enabling. Enabling the sexually addicted person to feel like everything is ok, and normal, when it’s not. Enabling the sexually addicted person to continue on…
Read MoreSex Addiction Limbo: Boundaries are the way out
Facebook Twitter Pinterest “Limbo” — that place between knowing your sexually addicted spouse is not in recovery, and feeling like there’s nothing you can do about it, except divorce, or just “live with it.” I’m here to tell you, that you don’t have to stay there, and you have more than two options. There is…
Read MoreMy new weird friend, betrayal trauma pain, and it’s cousin compassion
I had to make to make friends with my pain, my beloved betrayal trauma therapist said, because it wasn’t going to go away until it had its say. And as a result, I’m so grateful I did. I changed. Instead of seeing my pain as the enemy, I changed how I looked at it. I…
Read MoreProtected: A sample losses or impact letter
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Read MoreWhen You Love a Sex Addict
The natural consequences of sex addiction reach far beyond the addict, and touches everyone that loves them. The deception and betrayal felt by spouses, family and friends reaches far, and are difficult to stomach. When you love someone with a sex addiction life can be chaotic and you experience betrayal trauma. The good news is,…
Read MoreRecovering Spouses of Sex Addicts is now Recovered Peace
When I first embarked on this journey of recovery from my husband’s sex addiction, I knew that I wanted to help other women and men who were suffering from the betrayal trauma of their spouse’s addiction. I had some ideas on how to do that on a local level, with my face to face meetings…
Read MoreWhat does a Betrayed Spouse in recovery look like?
On the same note, what about us? I posted about what a man in recovery looks like. This is what a woman in recovery looks like: What does a woman in true recovery look like? Why do we ask this? Because recovery comes in waves for the spouse of addicts. ➡️ First…
Read MoreHow Do I Know if My Sex Addict Spouse is Really in Recovery?
“How do I know if my sex addict husband or wife is really in recovery?” Why do we ask this? Because we’ve been deceived so many times, we can’t be sure of what’s truth and what’s deception coming from a sex addict. Our husbands’ or wives’ word has lost its worth. A person’s actions, is…
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