The language and vocabulary of feeling

The Nonviolent Communication Feelings wheel is limited to feelings only. It encourages us to differentiate between a judgement and an emotion. Judgements are about the other person, for example, rejected, betrayed, unheard describes what we perceive the other person might be doing.  We have no control over what another person does. Whereas feelings are about…

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Love yourself. No, really, I mean LOVE your, ‘SELF’.

Love love love yourself

You are so precious and beautiful, and worthy, standing in your own sacred space. Similar to, “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” Yes of course it does, and… If a woman like all of us, is deeply feeling, deeply caring, loving,…

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Your feelings have a PURPOSE. Don’t ignore them.

Your feelings are VALID. Your feelings are AUTHENTIC AND REAL. Your feelings are IMPORTANT and have VALUE. Your feelings have PURPOSE. Some of you are being told that your feelings aren’t correct. (Invalidation.) That you aren’t seeing things properly or your perceptions are wrong and so your feelings are invalid. (Gaslighting.) Or that your imagination is just creating this situation. (Also…

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Celebrating my betrayal trauma independence

Today I celebrate my own independence.  I’m happily married to my husband who is (finally) in a real recovery of 37 months. But this isn’t about him, it’s about ME. 😎 🎇 I’m celebrating my independence from sex addiction in my life. 🎇I’m celebrating my independence from fear and worry about his recovery or a…

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Enabling active/unrecovered behavior with a sexually addicted person

“Providing relationship comforts to an active sexually addicted person, even sober, but not in recovery is protecting their addiction and standing in the way of their recovery.” Also known as enabling. Enabling the sexually addicted person to feel like everything is ok, and normal, when it’s not. Enabling the sexually addicted person to continue on…

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Sex Addiction Limbo: Boundaries are the way out

Damned if you do and damned if you don't

“Limbo” — that place between knowing your sexually addicted spouse is not in recovery, and feeling like there’s nothing you can do about it, except divorce, or just “live with it.” I’m here to tell you, that you don’t have to stay there, and you have more than two options. There is a way out…

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