Celebrating my betrayal trauma independence

Today I celebrate my own independence.  I'm happily married to my husband who is (finally) in a real recovery of 37 months. But this isn't about him, it's about ME. 😎

🎇 I'm celebrating my independence from sex addiction in my life.

🎇I'm celebrating my independence from fear and worry about his recovery or a relapse.

🎇 I'm celebrating my independence from needing anyone else to validate me as lovable, and worthy.

🎇 I'm celebrating my independence from my old views about safety, love, marriage, sex and communication.

🎇 I'm celebrating my independence from resentment towards my husband.

🎇 I'm celebrating my independence from triggers and heartbreak over past wounding from my husband's disease-induced behaviors.

🎇 I'm celebrating my independence from non-recovery.

🎇 I'm celebrating my independence from “religion” and celebrating my complete dependance upon Jesus.

What were my old views?

Let me just say, they matured, from a little girl's expectations to a woman's work gloves.

I took back responsibility, ownership and the keys to my “safety” instead of seeing it through another person's behavior.

I gave up the:
– fairytale, for a love story.
– idea that love is a feeling – rather, it's a choice.
– idea that once a marriage is tarnished by infidelity, that it's hopeless to create a new marriage.
– the words, “If he loved me, he'd know what to do….”
– the idea that if we were “compatible” that sexual intimacy would just “flow wordlessly like a dance.”
– the idea that I could should just be able “say what's on my mind” and he should just read between the lines, now I'm mindful about how I express my feelings and needs.

🗽 I wish you all a happy independence day, today, and every day forward.

May you be FREE, whether you stay married or not.

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Pam B.

I'm a spouse recovering from betrayal trauma, with more experience dealing with betrayal trauma than any individual should ever have (28+ years. I went on to complete training in the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. I'm a certified Life Coach and NLP practitioner, and completed the Door of Hope trauma informed peer facilitation training. Currently experiencing post-traumatic growth and trying to help others not make the same mistakes I did, and help others find recovery, healing, restoration, redemption and peace. Turning tragedies into triumphs is my main goal in life. Faithful follower of Jesus, wife to a husband in good recovery, and mom to her favorite college student.

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