Love yourself. No, really, I mean LOVE your, ‘SELF’.

You are so precious and beautiful, and worthy, standing in your own sacred space.

Similar to, “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” Yes of course it does, and…

If a woman like all of us, is deeply feeling, deeply caring, loving, nurturing, sensitive, creative, full of empathy, full of divine spirit and spark, and someone isn’t there to see it, does it really exist in us? Of course it does and we do!

We have to stay connected to our own value, when tempted to reach for unhealthy people. They are blinded and struck deaf by their own addictions and neurological malfunctions, and aren’t able to show up for authentic connection with us.

How can you honor your own heart today?

How can you show gratitude to your Self?

How can you write a love letter to your Self extolling her virtues?
Sing a love song, but imagine you’re singing it to your Soul, your Self.
All the “love” your primal brain is telling you, (falsely) that you can’t live without, is actually within you.Anything another human can “make you feel” you can also “make you feel”. (Quotes, because no one can make you feel anything, feelings arise from perception and thoughts.)

You have worth, just sitting in your chair, without “doing”.You don’t need to perform, or accomplish.
You don’t need anyone else to recognize it first.
Your worth exists whether someone else sees it or validates it or not.
You’re responsible for your inner experience.
You’re responsible for seeing, hearing and knowing “you” first, and developing joy and feeling love for yourself first.
When that recognition can happen, any recognition and validation from another person has great value, but is just gravy on top. In terms of good psychological health and grounding, and emotional intelligence, it has to start with us.
Hug that little girl inside that mistakenly thinks she’s going to die if that flawed male human doesn’t reflect her back to herself.
Accept the reality that no man, woman or child will ever have the level of relationship with her, than her own Self.
Tell her, she’s got everything she needs inside to be whole and full of Life.
Remind her, that her own company is unique in this world and can’t be duplicated. Call to your attention, that she’s a beautiful and worthy soul, in her own right, and worthy of only the healthiest attitudes from herself and others.
Listen to your Self. Talk kindly to your Self. Show your Self love and appreciation.
The greatest love story you will ever know, is the story of falling in love with the child and adult YOU, maybe for the first time in your life.
I wish I could find the words to express how this changed me, when I went on that journey.
I didn’t know how at first, but I kept trying and slowly but subtly, it started happening and when it did, the power of other’s words and behaviors, or lack of them, took their rightful place.
I had the power, to disempower the old beliefs I had l, about what it meant when someone else couldn’t show up for me.
It didn’t matter that I didn’t have “them” after the acceptance that they were “gone missing” because I still had “me”.

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Pam B.

I'm a spouse recovering from betrayal trauma, with more experience dealing with betrayal trauma than any individual should ever have (28+ years. I went on to complete training in the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. I'm a certified Life Coach and NLP practitioner, and completed the Door of Hope trauma informed peer facilitation training. Currently experiencing post-traumatic growth and trying to help others not make the same mistakes I did, and help others find recovery, healing, restoration, redemption and peace. Turning tragedies into triumphs is my main goal in life. Faithful follower of Jesus, wife to a husband in good recovery, and mom to her favorite college student.

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