Posts by Pam B.
Sex Addiction Limbo: Boundaries are the way out
“Limbo” — that place between knowing your sexually addicted spouse is not in recovery, and feeling like there’s nothing you can do about it, except divorce, or just “live with it.” I’m here to tell you, that you don’t have to stay there, and you have more than two options. There is a way out…
Read MoreMy new weird friend, betrayal trauma pain, and it’s cousin compassion
I had to make to make friends with my pain, my beloved betrayal trauma therapist said, because it wasn’t going to go away until it had its say. And as a result, I’m so grateful I did. I changed. Instead of seeing my pain as the enemy, I changed how I looked at it. I…
Read MoreA sample losses or impact letter
Dearest ____, I am writing this impact letter in hopes that you will gain a better understanding of how your addiction and acting out behavior has wounded me. Your sex addiction and deceptive choices and behaviors have impacted me in the following ways: Physically I have felt violated and sickened that you risked my health…
Read MoreWhen You Love a Sex Addict
The natural consequences of sex addiction reach far beyond the addict, and touches everyone that loves them. The deception and betrayal felt by spouses, family and friends reaches far, and are difficult to stomach. When you love someone with a sex addiction life can be chaotic and you experience betrayal trauma. The good news is,…
Read MoreRecovering Spouses of Sex Addicts is now Recovered Peace
When I first embarked on this journey of recovery from my husband’s sex addiction, I knew that I wanted to help other women and men who were suffering from the betrayal trauma of their spouse’s addiction. I had some ideas on how to do that on a local level, with my face to face meetings…
Read MoreWhat does a Betrayed Spouse in recovery look like?
On the same note, what about us? I posted about what a man in recovery looks like. This is what a woman in recovery looks like: What does a woman in true recovery look like? Why do we ask this? Because recovery comes in waves for the spouse of addicts. ➡️ First…
Read MoreHow Do I Know if My Sex Addict Spouse is Really in Recovery?
“How do I know if my sex addict husband or wife is really in recovery?” Why do we ask this? Because we’ve been deceived so many times, we can’t be sure of what’s truth and what’s deception coming from a sex addict. Our husbands’ or wives’ word has lost its worth. A person’s actions, is…
Read MoreMovie: Don Jon
A New Jersey guy dedicated to his family, friends, and church, develops unrealistic expectations from watching porn and works to find happiness and intimacy with his potential true love. Admin note: A little humor, a lot of truth, some mildly triggering scenes, but educational nonetheless. Shows the true power of porn to damage your ability…
Read MoreMovie: Thanks for Sharing
On the surface Adam (Ruffalo), an over-achieving environmental consultant, Mike (Robbins), a long-married small-business owner, and Neil (Gad), a wisecracking emergency-room doctor, have little in common. But all are in different stages of dealing with addiction. Confident and successful in his career, Adam is afraid to allow love back into his life, even if that…
Read MoreMovie: Addicted to Porn- Chasing the Cardboard Butterfly
Like it or not, porn is here and it is harmful. In this controversial film, award-winning filmmaker Justin Hunt dissects the impact of pornography on societies around the globe, from how it affects the brain of the individual, to how modern technology leads to greater exposure to youth, to watching it literally tear a family…
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