Celebrating my betrayal trauma independence

Today I celebrate my own independence.ย  I'm happily married to my husband who is (finally) in a real recovery of 37 months. But this isn't about him, it's about ME. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

๐ŸŽ‡ I'm celebrating my independence from sex addiction in my life.

๐ŸŽ‡I'm celebrating my independence from fear and worry about his recovery or a relapse.

๐ŸŽ‡ I'm celebrating my independence from needing anyone else to validate me as lovable, and worthy.

๐ŸŽ‡ I'm celebrating my independence from my old views about safety, love, marriage, sex and communication.

๐ŸŽ‡ I'm celebrating my independence from resentment towards my husband.

๐ŸŽ‡ I'm celebrating my independence from triggers and heartbreak over past wounding from my husband's disease-induced behaviors.

๐ŸŽ‡ I'm celebrating my independence from non-recovery.

๐ŸŽ‡ I'm celebrating my independence from “religion” and celebrating my complete dependance upon Jesus.

What were my old views?

Let me just say, they matured, from a little girl's expectations to a woman's work gloves.

I took back responsibility, ownership and the keys to my “safety” instead of seeing it through another person's behavior.

I gave up the:
– fairytale, for a love story.
– idea that love is a feeling – rather, it's a choice.
– idea that once a marriage is tarnished by infidelity, that it's hopeless to create a new marriage.
– the words, “If he loved me, he'd know what to do….”
– the idea that if we were “compatible” that sexual intimacy would just “flow wordlessly like a dance.”
– the idea that I could should just be able “say what's on my mind” and he should just read between the lines, now I'm mindful about how I express my feelings and needs.

๐Ÿ—ฝ I wish you all a happy independence day, today, and every day forward.

May you be FREE, whether you stay married or not.

Clarity and Peaceย  with Boundaries with Boundaries support group. Master Boundaries, get support for boundaries to guard against gaslighting, blame, denial, minimization, manipulation and isolation.

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Pam B.

I'm a spouse recovering from betrayal trauma, with more experience dealing with betrayal trauma than any individual should ever have (28+ years. I went on to complete training in the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. I'm a certified Life Coach and NLP practitioner, and completed the Door of Hope trauma informed peer facilitation training. Currently experiencing post-traumatic growth and trying to help others not make the same mistakes I did, and help others find recovery, healing, restoration, redemption and peace. Turning tragedies into triumphs is my main goal in life. Faithful follower of Jesus, wife to a husband in good recovery, and mom to her favorite college student.

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