Examples of Boundary Violation Responses or Enforcements: My participation in relationship

Here are some possible consequences that are a result of a boundary violation.

The severity of the consequence should match the severity of the depth of violation you experience.

Some suggestions:

• Filing for divorce

• You moving out

• Your partner moving out

• Therapeutically Guided Separation in anticipation of reconciliation (you're open to reconciliation if your needs are met)

• Separation in anticipation of divorce (you're not open to reconciliation at this point)

• Informing your partner that you are not “all in” the relationship, (because their behavior demonstrated he was not “all in”) but will consider the possibility of the gift of reconciliation if you see a pattern of changed behavior

• Not taking part in couple's therapy or couple's work

• Not taking part in discussions about the relationship

• Sleeping in separate bedrooms until further notice

• Not being sexually intimate until further notice

• Telling more people about your situation

• Limiting one-on-one time with your partner

• I will request you no longer have a smartphone

• A lock added to the bedroom door

• Only talking to your spouse during certain parts of the day that you decide, or limiting contact to talking on the phone

• Being asked to quit a job or activity where violation occurred.

• I will not do anything for you that you can do for yourself

• I will go stay with my family member/at a hotel so I have time to think about what I want/need to do next

• I will say “no” to certain responsibilities

• I will no longer attend social/work /church events with you until I feel ready, we'll drive separately

• I will need more alone time

• I will not allow you to see me unclothed or touch me without my explict permission in that moment

• I will not provide companionship for watching tv, relaxing in the evening

• I will not share intimate thoughts personal opinions and beliefs.

• I will not share my intimate feelings and experiences, failures and successes, needs, emotions and desires

• I will not listen to you complain about your day

• I will not do personal favors for you

• I will not shop for food you like

• I will not make meals for you, or share meals with you at the same table

• I will not make doctor appointments for you

• I will not pour your coffee for you in the morning

• I will not do your laundry for you

• I will not sign your name to cards I sent to family on holidays/birthdays or anniversaries

• I will not clean up after you

• I will not wash your dishes

• I will not help pay for your memberships that only benefit you, when I pay the bills

• I will not notify you before I leave the house, letting you know where I'm going and when I'll be back