Clarity and Peace with Boundaries

Enrollment is now open

Clarity and Peace with Boundaries

Transform How You Communicate and Respond with Your Sexually Addicted Spouse from Conflict and Chaos, into Love and Compassion for yourself without Guilt.

The most comprehensive program for creating and enforcing PRACTICAL boundaries with your sexually addicted spouse, with love and compassion. Boundaries that give you the data: "Can this relationship be healthy and connected again?"
Immediate access to Modules 1 videos and worksheet upon enrollment.
4 weeks of Zoom Group Coaching Meetings
(choose from either Monday sessions or Saturday sessions)
Mondays, starting January 06, 2025 at 4:00pm PT / 5:00 pm MT / 6:00pm CT / 7:00pm ET
or
Saturdays, January 04, 2025 at 7:00am PT / 8:00 am MT / 9:00pm CT / 10:00am ET

ENROLL NOW

recovered-peace-betrayal-trauma-group-book-study-web-compressor

Who This Is Really For…

You’re in a relationship that you’ve protected and cherished, with a sexually addicted partner but you’re simply tired of hoping your spouse will change so you can finally relax.

You're ready to protect your heart, sanity and relationship rights by speaking confidently, from a loving and place.

Whether you’re a wife who …

* just recently learned about your spouse’s deception and betrayals and you don’t know where to start
* has known about your husband’s behaviors for a long time, but keeps hearing promises to change, but yet nothing ever really changes
* has been in recovery for a while now, but the trust and connection level is low or non-existent and you know, “something is missing”

You’re in the right place and I’m going to tell you exactly how Clarity and Peace with Boundaries will give you the mindset, tools and unparalleled support on your journey to creating peace and sanity in your relationship with your sexually addicted spouse.

By the end of this program you will have:

A strong awareness of the priceless value of what you’re protecting with boundaries.
Nailed down your personal intimate relationship boundaries (instead of wondering, “can I have a boundary around _______?”
Crafted your detailed action plan for boundary enforcement so you know exactly what you will do, and exactly how you will do it
Communicated your boundaries in the most loving and compassionate way while maintaining firm self confidence that what you’re protecting is of the highest value
Have responses ready to any objections or pushback, gaslighting or manipulation so you’re ready to stand firm against any attempt to get you to drop your boundary pre-maturely – before his new behaviors take shape
Crafted personal boundaries that protect your physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual and sexual self-care
Implement better boundaries with everyone else: children, parents, siblings, other family members, coworkers, bosses, neighbors, therapists, church leaders – anyone at all.

Enroll in Clarity and Peace with Boundaries Today

Mondays at 7pm ET

$629

Save my Monday Seat

Saturdays at 10am ET

$629

Save My Saturday Seat

WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT THIS COURSE AND EXPERIENCE...

I’ve done other support groups, seen CSATs, gone to counseling .. but this has by far been the best help that I have found. Pam has lived this trauma and really cares. She will share her story and what works and what hurts. I can not recommend her and this tribe of supportive woman who know this pain enough ! It’s a safe place with others who really understand and will tell you the truth. You will feel seen, heard, cared for, and valued. Do this for yourself – it is life changing."

Kathleen T

Maryland, US

"Setting and more importantly, holding our boundaries, can be overwhelming and confusing. Pam breaks it down to it’s simplest form, with easy and relatable examples that can be applied to our own unique circumstances. She truly gets it and you will too!"

Amber

Ontario, Canada

"Your Kindness, support and education offered me not only a place to feel sane and safe when I felt so confused and alone— but also you gave me hope to improve. You did this by teaching me about boundaries, about what I deserved and reminded me I am my own person— and I get to do it in my own way and own time."

Joanne

Maine, US

"After 30 years of a whole lot of recovery programs, counselors and a plethora of money I gave up looking. That is until I found Pam and her Boundaries education and community. I now have others who understand, community support and solid answers for making and keeping boundaries...regardless of whether our loved one chooses recovery or not. And boundaries are great for friends and family too! INVALUABLE."

Cathy C.

Connecticut

"I now feel like a stronger individual because of her. I’ve learned stronger healthier boundaries, learned how to stay focused on my own personal growth, skills for helping my trauma states and just generally how to grow into a healthier person."
- J.B., British Columbia

Jeneanne B.

British Columbia, Canada

"If you had told me 6 months ago, that my marriage could be better than ever, more close, more connected, more safe, I would have said it was impossible. Even setting and enforcing boundaries seemed like an impossible task. But Pam helped me to understand that I wasn't being mean, controlling or hard, but that my boundaries were an act of love. Now my children are learning to set boundaries and I couldn't be more proud.

Maria S.

New Jersey

What's Inside
Clarity and Peace with Boundaries

Module 1: Validate Feelings, Myths, Change and Prepare for Mindset Change

Here’s why it pays to learn from someone who’s gone before you – I know exactly where most people get stuck when learning to use boundaries.

You can't skip this part: Your personal values, beliefs and rights for your own self-care and safety are at the core of your boundary tool kit. In this module we’re going to:

Understand that no feeling is "wrong" and can have purpose to move us forward
Crush the myths that keep us from using our boundaries to keep us safe, sane and secure.
Expose and demolish fears that can keep us stuck in place.
Change our mindset to one that will empower us to preserve our hearts, minds, bodies, time and sanity.
Get crystal clear on the rights we have in relationships - to safety, connection, protection

Module 2 BOUNDARIES BASICS Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Boundaries - Yourself, Spouse and Everyone Else

Gain clarity on what boundaries are, and what they aren’t. Learn why boundaries are an act of love and compassion for yourself and everyone around you. You’ll master :

Foundational concepts of why boundaries are your super power in the fight against relationship imbalances
Identifying areas where your boundaries are strong, and where they need additional work for your personal health and over-all well being.
Evaluate your self-care and raise the priority on your needs
Methods to ground and respond - instead of react
How to make requests around your needs and set boundaries. n a fair, loving and compassionate way
Scripts on what to say and how to say it. (Practical examples from my own personal experience and 5 years of working with betrayed spouses dealing with addiction and common relationship dysfunction.)

Personal Self-care boundaries

You can't skip this part: Your personal values, beliefs and rights for your own self-care and safety are at the core of your boundary tool kit.

You’ll map out how you can tune into your own sense of what’s right and wrong for you, and what you need in any moment.
We’ll look at who’s responsible, for what, when it comes to other people.
You’ll learn how to step away from stressful conversations and situations in a healthy way that respects yourself, and others, and how to encourage win-win solutions when there’s conflict.

Boundaries with others

You’ll take a personal look at where most boundary offenses happen with your partner, and validate how it really affects you, and what you need to happen for you instead.

Learn what the most important boundary you can have, with a sexually addicted person
The most common boundary offenses: dishonesty, trickle disclosure, gaslighting, blame, justifying, entitlement, deflecting, defensiveness and others, and how to set and enforce boundaries around those behaviors.
Answer the question, “What can I have a boundaries around?” and think through what you’re willing to enforce, deal breakers, and things you’ll be patient with.
You’ll be asked to think about all the major dimensions of your life that need boundaries, and get dozens of examples of typical boundaries around recovery from betrayal, deception and the effects of other's addiction.

Module 3: Prepare to live in a safe, sane and boundaried life

Here’s where most people get stuck: what do I do when a boundary is crossed?

Instead of trying to think it through in the moment, you’ll use my worksheets to make a plan for a range of options to help you feel validated, supported and protected when you need to enforce your boundaries after a violation. Yes it's hard, but feeling prepared can help strengthen your confidence and self-protection.
You’ll be inspired to ramp up your self-care in ways you may not have considered yet.

Here’s another place most people are caught off guard: dealing with pushback on your boundaries.

You’ll discover the most common pushback and have your self-protective yet loving and compassionate responses ready in advance.
You’ll learn that you can empathize with the discomfort your partner feels from your enforcement, yet and still hold your boundaries firmly.
A list of the most common, "Pushback statements" from sexually addicted men in recovery - and how to respond with empathy and compassion, but stay firm in your boundary. Suggestions for scripts of "what to say, and how to say it."

Module 4: Use Your Capital “V” Voice to communicate your boundaries

You’ll use your Voice to be seen, heard and known for exactly what’s going on with you, and what your needs are.

Use my bullet-proof fill-in-the-blank 5 sentence formula worksheet that becomes your script to master boundary statements made with love and care for others, without guilt
You’ll hold people accountable for their problematic behavior in a calm, factual and loving way that expressed your emotions without blaming.
You’ll get clear on and communicate specifically what you need to see from your partner (and others) to give them access to you and your heart.
You’ll also learn to make requests in a way that puts the focus on you, your feelings, and your needs, that leaves no room for the recipient to accuse you of blaming, belligerence or being controlling.
You'll get clear on what requests to make of your recovering spouse to protect your heart and relationship, and do recovery together as a united force, and show up for the relationship every time.

Ultimate self-care – Enforcing your boundaries

In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need boundaries, but the reality is people cross those lines either intentionally or un-intentionally.

It’s our right and responsibility to protect ourselves with boundaries and help those people learn what the natural result of their behavior is, for their own good and ours. Enforcing is never easy but allowing the violation to continue is even less comfortable.

You’ll learn how to validate your own feelings and reality, identify your needs, and enact the plan you made in Module 3.
You’ll learn the importance of documenting the behavior of your sexually addicted partner and why that’s important data about the health of your relationship, and their commitment to putting the relationship ahead of their addiction.
When you're done: You'll have a chance to join other graduates of this course, who meet 2x a week to keep the momentum of the boundaries you'll need through every major phase of recovery: safety, mourning and reconnecting - and continue your growth.

Here's what you get

when you enroll

When you enroll during this special limited time period you’ll get:

* Lifetime Access to 4 Deep Dive Modules showing you literally everything you need to do, to craft boundaries that fit your values and needs for physical and emotional safety, serenity, and good mental health in your relationship with your sexually addicted spouse (and everyone else!) Video, Audio and Transcripts so you can learn in your own time and ways that are best for you.

* 4 Zoom Meetings on Mondays at 7pm ET to discuss the content in the videos and worksheets, ask questions, get validation and answers. This will be recorded and posted to the FB group if you can’t make it live.

* Worksheets with scripts, examples and suggestions that help you tailor your boundaries and sanctuaries to your own personal values, lifestyle, and needs.

* A safe, active and highly supportive private Facebook group community with fellow students and alumni to make sure you get unstuck in a matter of minutes instead of days or weeks. You'll have immediate access to this community as soon as you enroll, and for the duration of the 4-week session.

* A space to over-come isolation and constantly refill your validation and motivation tank by connection with other women who “get” the journey and are here to help you master the power of boundaries and self-care

Here's the Bonuses You Get

when you enroll now

When you enroll during this special limited time period you’ll get these bonuses to ease your journey to your boundary goals:

4 free weeks of Momentum Boundaries membership. A group for graduates of this program to stay connected, support each other through recovery and enforcing boundaries. ($129 Value)
Cognitive Distortions: Changing the Story - Betrayal trauma, our brains can lie to us. We feel it in our body and feel "crazy" when we examine our own thoughts -- but where to start? This training will help you sort emotions from thoughts, and identify where thoughts might be common distortions of the facts. ($79 Value)
The Healing Work of Nature and Trauma - An educational video course by Maureen Calamia, a workshop leader and author of "Creating Luminous Spaces". Maureen is passionate about the role of nature in our lives. She specializes in bringing nature into all aspects of our lives though biophillic design and advises us on how to best use nature in our self-care plan. ($199 Value)
Total value of these bonuses: $407

Plus you’ll be backed by a

Risk-Free 7 day guarantee

Let me say this up front:

Clarity and Peace with Boundaries the most comprehensive, step-by-step education and experience program for spouses of sexually addicted people who are highly motivated and COMMITTED to learn the best proven methods of using boundaries to regain their personal power and get out of relationship limbo.

My groups are carefully crafted with their own boundaries, that make sure only encouragement, validation and growth are the focus of all conversations. (I'm trained by Door of Hope Peer Facilitation and have over 20 years experience running online groups.)

Now here’s the kicker.

By the end of 7 days, you’ll have received access to a pre-implementation runway” of 9 resources and 9 lessons. You'll have had the opportunity to attend a live meeting and get coaching with me.

Meaning, you’ve had the opportunity to validate that your goals for your boundaries growth are in line with what’s taught in this course.

If you don’t feel totally validated in your values and motivated by your boundaries work in this course (and your ability to do the work to craft your own boundaries,) and have attended the first meeting, reach out and show me you’ve put in the work and I'll refund your investment 100%

You have nothing to lose and only empowerment to gain. Full details here >>

The Questions I Get...

When does this start, when do we meet?

I’m feeling overwhelmed are you sure I can do this?

It makes so much sense you feel overwhelm on this journey.

I want to encourage you, that it's possible to experience this education and support on your own terms, on your own schedule.

Overwhelm happens when you don’t have an actionable, easy to follow, proven path to stick to. I created Boundaries for Clarity and Peace to be the antithesis of overwhelm.

You’re not going do “all the things, all at once”.

You’re going to follow the super detailed, step-by-step implementation lessons, rack up the wins, and gradually become a world class boundary peace maker leveraging the same tools and strategies as the experts you’ve looked up to.

As long as you promise to follow the strategies in their proper order and resist skipping ahead (I know, easier said than done!), I promise to keep you on track.

You'll have lifetime access to the educational content to return to as you need it and have time and bandwidth for. If you decide you want to add another 4 week support experience at a future time, you can join another session in the future at a reduced rate. Your time, your availability, on your own terms.

What if I don’t have time to do the modules as they drop?

I’m not in therapy, will this work for me?

This is not intended to be a replacement for therapy. I always recommend having a betrayal trauma trained therapist who can evaluate your needs and possibly refer you to other trauma informed treatments.

This course is a deeper dive education on concepts you might learn from a therapist, or books related to boundaries. It's a deep dive into building practical skills that will help us navigate difficult relationships and empower us to see a broader range of choices for our own thinking, feeling and actions with ourselves and others.

When I join, will I get immediate access to everything?

As soon as you join, you'll get access to the Boundaries for Clarity and Peace Community. You'll have access to the "Introduction" and Module 1" and you can start right away on doing some self assessments and set up some simple goals for working this program. You can also start crafting some boundaries around your self-care and safety, which will be necessary for getting the most out of this experience.

Because overwhelm and fatigue is common in relationships with sexually addicted men, I want to keep this simple, and we'll focus on the educational content in small chunks, week by week.

Will you be available and accessible to answer questions if I get stuck?

Yes! I'll be available via email (24 hour response time, Monday - Friday) and I'll also be going live in our private FaceBook community, where I can answer your specific questions around the education for that week, (or prior weeks.)

You'll also have an opportunity to get live video coaching from me, for a 10 minute "heart seat", my version of a "hot seat" where you come on video with me, and tell us what boundaries roadblocks you're struggling with, and I'll help you come up with choices for solutions that pertain to your unique situation.

Do I need any special technology to access this program?

You'll be able to access this experience on a desktop, tablet or mobile phone.

To access the educational content:

An internet connection
An internet browser, like Chrome or Safari

To access the Private Community Support and Live Support Sessions (optional):

A Facebook Account

Ability to view a zoom session (you can run a test at the Zoom website, to see if your system supports zoom)

To be a Heart Seat candidate for live coaching on camera:

A working webcam and microphone

Do I have to use Facebook?

Is this a faith based group?

This group is a secular group, open to all people, regardless of belief.

I am a grateful follower of my savior Jesus Christ. I do not bring religion or faith specifically into this content.

But in our live meetings all faiths are welcome, and we value each other's beliefs. If someone wants to talk about an aspect of their faith and how it relates to their personal recovery, that is welcome. No one will be allowed to preach or encourage their beliefs on others.

Who is this group NOT for?

If you’re thinking “this sounds amazing but I’m still not 100% sure”...

KEEP READING...

You should give Clarity and Peace with Boundaries for Safety and Peace a 7 day risk-free shot if you’re motivated by any of the following:

-> You want your life back…like…really badly.

Whether it’s the past wounds or the in-your-face day to day feeling of disconnection caused by your partner’s painful behaviors, you’re fully aware that something is wrong in your relationship and want to know if it can be made right again. Get out of limbo.

-> More importantly, your energy and hope is being zapped and you know you can’t maintain this limbo for too much longer, much less the rest of your life.

You value your relationship and your peace, and you’re motivated beyond measure to invest the next 4 weeks in crafting and enforcing boundaries that give you really good information about whether or not your partner can become a safe person for you again. If he can validate you, connect to you, able to reassure you in a way that can dramatically alter your ability to feel safe and at peace in your own home, with your relationship as your home base.

Its Time

Mondays at 7pm ET

$629

Save my Monday Seat

Saturdays at 10am ET

$629

Save My Saturday Seat

I personally cannot wait

to guide you over these next 4+2 weeks…

Learning to create, communicate and enforce boundaries in my marriage to my (now in a good recovery) sexually addicted spouse has literally transformed my life in ways I never dreamed of.

Most importantly, I learned whether my marriage was salvageable or not. I had to know that I tried absolutely everything in my power, to give my husband a chance to choose recovery. Some do, some don’t, but I had to know either way. That knowledge is power.

I’ve experienced first-hand what it feels like to cycle through discovery, recovery, and relapse of my beloved husband’s sex addiction, feeling like I only had two options: Stay and hope for the best as my hope diminished each cycle, or choose divorce. I’ve also experienced the transition from diminished hope and feeling of disempowerment, to one of being at the helm of my thoughts, feelings and actions with the full confidence that I would protect my own values and heart from the harmful behavior of others – whatever it takes and look forward to the results.

If you’re in a committed relationship with a sexually addicted person, you owe it yourself to at least take the risk-free plunge to see what your life with healthy boundaries to protect you in all aspects of your life looks like.

More than anything else, I want to share that with you today.

To experience firsthand, the self-worth, confidence, and peace that healthy boundaries provide, and to take real, tangible steps to transforming the lives of everyone you’re in close contact with.

Should you choose to accept my invitation, I personally guarantee that these next 4+2 weeks will be completely and utterly life changing for you and your family.

I look forward to meeting you personally inside Clarity and Peace with Boundaries.

All my best,

Its Time

Mondays at 7pm ET

$629

Save my Monday Seat

Saturdays at 10am ET

$629

Save My Saturday Seat

ENROLLMENT ENDS

Save your seat, enrollment fills up quickly in the last 3-5 days before the course starts

Clarity and Peace with Boundaries

Enrollment is now open

Clarity and Peace with Boundaries

Who This Is Really For…

By the end of this program you will have:

Enroll in Clarity and Peace with Boundaries Today

Mondays at 7pm ET

Saturdays at 10am ET

WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT THIS COURSE AND EXPERIENCE...

Kathleen T

Amber

Joanne

Cathy C.

Jeneanne B.

Maria S.

What's Inside Clarity and Peace with Boundaries

Module 1: Validate Feelings, Myths, Change and Prepare for Mindset Change

Module 2 BOUNDARIES BASICS Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Boundaries - Yourself, Spouse and Everyone Else

Personal Self-care boundaries

Boundaries with others

Module 3: Prepare to live in a safe, sane and boundaried life

Module 4: Use Your Capital “V” Voice to communicate your boundaries

Ultimate self-care – Enforcing your boundaries

Here's what you get

when you enroll

Here's the Bonuses You Get

when you enroll now

Plus you’ll be backed by a

Risk-Free 7 day guarantee

The Questions I Get...

If you’re thinking “this sounds amazing but I’m still not 100% sure”...

KEEP READING...

Its Time

Mondays at 7pm ET

Saturdays at 10am ET

I personally cannot wait

to guide you over these next 4+2 weeks…

Its Time

Mondays at 7pm ET

Saturdays at 10am ET

ENROLLMENT ENDS

What's Inside
Clarity and Peace with Boundaries