Enrollment is now open
Clarity and Peace with Boundaries
Transform How Your Show Up with Your Sexually Addicted Spouse from Conflict and Chaos into Love and Compassion for yourself without Guilt.
The most comprehensive program for creating and enforcing PRACTICAL boundaries with your sexually addicted spouse, with love and compassion. Boundaries that give you the data: "Can this relationship be healthy again?"
Immediate access to Modules 1 videos and worksheet upon enrollment.
First Zoom Group Meeting Monday November 20, 2023 at 7pm ET (4pm PT, 5pm MT, 6pm CT)
Who This Is Really For…
You’re in a relationship that you’ve protected and cherished, with a sexually addicted partner but you’re simply tired of hoping your spouse will change so you can finally relax.
You're ready to protect your heart, sanity and relationship rights by speaking confidently, from a loving and place.
Whether you’re a wife who …
- just recently learned about your spouse’s deception and betrayals and you don’t know where to start
- has known about your husband’s behaviors for a long time, but keeps hearing promises to change, but yet nothing ever really changes
- has been in recovery for a while now, but the trust and connection level is low or non-existent and you know, “something is missing”
You’re in the right place and I’m going to tell you exactly how Boundaries for Clarity and Peace will give you the mindset, tools and unparalleled support on your journey to creating peace and sanity in your relationship with your sexually addicted spouse.
Be the end of this program you will have:
- A strong awareness of the priceless value of what you’re protecting with boundaries.
- Nailed down your personal intimate relationship boundaries (instead of wondering, “can I have a boundary around _______?”
- Crafted your detailed action plan for boundary enforcement so you know exactly what you will do, and exactly how you will do it
- Communicated your boundaries in the most loving and compassionate way while maintaining firm self confidence that what you’re protecting is of the highest value
- Have responses ready to any objections or pushback, gaslighting or manipulation so you’re ready to stand firm against any attempt to get you to drop your boundary pre-maturely – before his new behaviors take shape
- Crafted personal boundaries that protect your physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual and sexual self-care
- Implement better boundaries with everyone else: children, parents, siblings, other family members, coworkers, bosses, neighbors, therapists, church leaders – anyone at all.
Enroll in Clarity and Peace with Boundaries Today
2 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF
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WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT THIS COURSE AND EXPERIENCE...
Boundaries for Clarity and Peace
Module 1: Validate Feelings, Myths, Change and Prepare for Mindset Change
Here’s why it pays to learn from someone who’s gone before you – I know exactly where most people get stuck when learning to use boundaries.
You can't skip this part: Your personal values, beliefs and rights for your own self-care and safety are at the core of your boundary tool kit. In this module we’re going to:
- Understand that no feeling is "wrong" and can have purpose to move us forward
- Crush the myths that keep us from using our boundaries to keep us safe, sane and secure.
- Expose and demolish fears that can keep us stuck in place.
- Change our mindset to one that will empower us to preserve our hearts, minds, bodies, time and sanity.
- Get crystal clear on the rights we have in relationships - to safety, connection, protection
Module 2 BOUNDARIES BASICS Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Boundaries - Yourself, Spouse and Everyone Else
Gain clarity on what boundaries are, and what they aren’t. Learn why boundaries are an act of love and compassion for yourself and everyone around you. You’ll master :
- Foundational concepts of why boundaries are your super power in the fight against relationship imbalances
- Identifying areas where your boundaries are strong, and where they need additional work for your personal health and over-all well being.
- Evaluate your self-care and raise the priority on your needs
- Methods to ground and respond - instead of react
- How to make requests around your needs and set boundaries. n a fair, loving and compassionate way
- Scripts on what to say and how to say it. (Practical examples from my own personal experience and 5 years of working with betrayed spouses dealing with addiction and common relationship dysfunction.)
Personal Self-care boundaries
You can't skip this part: Your personal values, beliefs and rights for your own self-care and safety are at the core of your boundary tool kit.
- You’ll map out how you can tune into your own sense of what’s right and wrong for you, and what you need in any moment.
- We’ll look at who’s responsible, for what, when it comes to other people.
- You’ll learn how to step away from stressful conversations and situations in a healthy way that respects yourself, and others, and how to encourage win-win solutions when there’s conflict.
Boundaries with others
You’ll take a personal look at where most boundary offenses happen with your partner, and validate how it really affects you, and what you need to happen for you instead.
- Learn what the most important boundary you can have, with a sexually addicted person
- The most common boundary offenses: dishonesty, trickle disclosure, gaslighting, blame, justifying, entitlement, deflecting, defensiveness and others, and how to set and enforce boundaries around those behaviors.
- Answer the question, “What can I have a boundaries around?” and think through what you’re willing to enforce, deal breakers, and things you’ll be patient with.
- You’ll be asked to think about all the major dimensions of your life that need boundaries, and get dozens of examples of typical boundaries around recovery from betrayal, deception and the effects of other's addiction.
Module 3: Prepare to live in a safe, sane and boundaried life
Here’s where most people get stuck: what do I do when a boundary is crossed?
- Instead of trying to think it through in the moment, you’ll use my worksheets to make a plan for a range of options to help you feel validated, supported and protected when you need to enforce your boundaries after a violation. Yes it's hard, but feeling prepared can help strengthen your confidence and self-protection.
- You’ll be inspired to ramp up your self-care in ways you may not have considered yet.
Here’s another place most people are caught off guard: dealing with pushback on your boundaries.
- You’ll discover the most common pushback and have your self-protective yet loving and compassionate responses ready in advance.
- You’ll learn that you can empathize with the discomfort your partner feels from your enforcement, yet and still hold your boundaries firmly.
- A list of the most common, "Pushback statements" from sexually addicted men in recovery - and how to respond with empathy and compassion, but stay firm in your boundary. Suggestions for scripts of "what to say, and how to say it."
Module 4: Use Your Capital “V” Voice to communicate your boundaries
You’ll use your Voice to be seen, heard and known for exactly what’s going on with you, and what your needs are.
- Use my bullet-proof fill-in-the-blank 5 sentence formula worksheet that becomes your script to master boundary statements made with love and care for others, without guilt
- You’ll hold people accountable for their problematic behavior in a calm, factual and loving way that expressed your emotions without blaming.
- You’ll get clear on and communicate specifically what you need to see from your partner (and others) to give them access to you and your heart.
- You’ll also learn to make requests in a way that puts the focus on you, your feelings, and your needs, that leaves no room for the recipient to accuse you of blaming, belligerence or being controlling.
- You'll get clear on what requests to make of your recovering spouse to protect your heart and relationship, and do recovery together as a united force, and show up for the relationship every time.
Ultimate self-care – Enforcing your boundaries
In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need boundaries, but the reality is people cross those lines either intentionally or un-intentionally.
It’s our right and responsibility to protect ourselves with boundaries and help those people learn what the natural result of their behavior is, for their own good and ours. Enforcing is never easy but allowing the violation to continue is even less comfortable.
- You’ll learn how to validate your own feelings and reality, identify your needs, and enact the plan you made in Module 5.
- You’ll learn the importance of documenting the behavior of your sexually addicted partner and why that’s important data about the health of your relationship, and their commitment to putting the relationship ahead of their addiction.
- When you're done: You'll have a chance to join other graduates of this course, who meet 2x a week to keep the momentum of the boundaries you'll need through every major phase of recovery: safety, mourning and reconnecting - and continue your growth.
Plus you’ll be backed by a
Risk-Free 7 day guarantee
Let me say this up front:
Boundaries for safety and peace is the most comprehensive, step-by-step education and experience program for spouses of sexually addicted people who are highly motivated and COMMITTED to learn the best proven methods of using boundaries to regain their personal power and get out of relationship limbo.
My groups are carefully crafted with their own boundaries, that make sure only encouragement, validation and growth are the focus of all conversations. (I'm trained by Door of Hope Peer Facilitation and have over 20 years experience running online groups.)
Now here’s the kicker.
By the end of 7 days, you’ll have received access to a pre-implementation runway” and 6 lessons. You'll have had the opportunity to attend a live meeting and see two FB lives from me.
Meaning, you’ve had the opportunity to validate that your goals for your boundaries growth are in line with what’s taught in this course.
If you don’t feel totally validated in your values and motivated by your boundaries work in this course (and your ability to do the work to craft your own boundaries,) and have attended the first meeting, reach out and show me you’ve put in the work and I'll refund your investment 100%
You have nothing to lose and only empowerment to gain. Full details here >>
If you’re thinking “this sounds amazing but I’m still not 100% sure”...
You should give Boundaries for Safety and Peace a 14 day risk-free shot if you’re motivated by any of the following:
-> You want your life back…like…really badly.
Whether it’s the past wounds or the in-your-face day to day feeling of disconnection caused by your partner’s painful behaviors, you’re fully aware that something is wrong in your relationship and want to know if it can be made right again. Get out of limbo.
-> More importantly, your energy and hope is being zapped and you know you can’t maintain this limbo for too much longer, much less the rest of your life.
You value your relationship and your peace, and you’re motivated beyond measure to invest the next 2 months in crafting and enforcing boundaries that give you really good information about whether or not your partner can become a safe person for you again. If he can , validate you, connect to you, able to reassure you in a way that can dramatically alter your ability to feel safe and at peace in your own home, with your relationship as your home base.
2 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF
A ONE-TIME PAYMENT OF
I personally cannot wait
to guide you over these next 4+2 weeks…
Learning to create, communicate and enforce boundaries in my marriage to my (now in a good recovery) sexually addicted spouse has literally transformed my life in ways I never dreamed of.
Most importantly, I learned whether my marriage was salvageable or not. I had to know that I tried absolutely everything in my power, to give my husband a chance to choose recovery. Some do, some don’t, but I had to know either way. That knowledge is power.
I’ve experienced first-hand what it feels like to cycle through discovery, recovery, and relapse of my beloved husband’s sex addiction, feeling like I only had two options: Stay and hope for the best as my hope diminished each cycle, or choose divorce. I’ve also experienced the transition from diminished hope and feeling of disempowerment, to one of being at the helm of my thoughts, feelings and actions with the full confidence that I would protect my own values and heart from the harmful behavior of others – whatever it takes and look forward to the results.
If you’re in a committed relationship with a sexually addicted person, you owe it yourself to at least take the risk-free plunge to see what your life with healthy boundaries to protect you in all aspects of your life looks like.
More than anything else, I want to share that with you today.
To experience firsthand, the self-worth, confidence, and peace that healthy boundaries provide, and to take real, tangible steps to transforming the lives of everyone you’re in close contact with.
Should you choose to accept my invitation, I personally guarantee that these next 4+2 weeks will be completely and utterly life changing for you and your family.
I look forward to meeting you personally inside Boundaries for Peace and Safety.
All my best,
2 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF
A ONE-TIME PAYMENT OF
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