What's Inside
Boundaries for Clarity and Peace

Here’s why it pays to learn from someone who’s gone before you – I know exactly where most people get stuck when learning to use boundaries. In this module we’re going to:

• Crush the myths that keep us from using our boundaries to keep us safe, sane and secure.
• Expose and demolish fears that can keep us stuck in place.
• Change our mindset to one that will empower us to preserve our hearts, minds, bodies, time and sanity.

Gain clarity on what boundaries are, and what they aren’t. Learn why boundaries are an act of love and compassion for yourself and everyone around you. You’ll master :

• foundational concepts of why boundaries are your super power in the fight against relationship imbalances
• identifying areas where your boundaries are strong, and where they need additional work for your personal health and over-all well being.

<strong>You can't skip this part: Your personal values, beliefs and rights for your own self-care and safety are at the core of your boundary tool kit.</strong>
<ul>
<li>You’ll map out how you can tune into <strong>your own sense</strong> of what’s right and wrong for you, and what you need in any moment.</li>
<li>We’ll look at <strong>who’s responsible</strong>,  for what, when it comes to other people.</li>
<li>You’ll learn how to <strong>step away from stressful conversations and situations</strong> in a healthy way that respects yourself, and others, and how to <strong>encourage win-win solutions when there’s conflict.</strong></li>
</ul>

You’ll take a personal look at where most boundary offenses happen with your partner, and validate how it really affects you, and what you need to happen for you instead.

• Learn what the most important boundary is with a sexually addicted person
• The most common boundary offenses :  dishonesty, trickle disclosure, gaslighting, blame, deflecting, defensiveness and others, and how to set and enforce boundaries around those behaviors.
• Answer the question, “What can I have a boundaries around?” and think through what you’re willing to enforce, deal breakers, and things you’ll be patient with.
• You’ll be asked to think about all the major dimensions of your life that need boundaries, and get dozens of examples of typical boundaries around recovery from betrayal, deception and the effects of other's  addiction.

Here’s where most people get stuck: what do I do when a boundary is crossed?

• Instead of trying to think it through in the moment, you’ll use my worksheets to make a plan for a range of options to help you feel validated, supported and protected when you need to enforce your boundaries after a violation.
• You’ll be inspired to ramp up your self-care in ways you may not have considered yet.

Here’s another place most people are caught off guard: dealing with pushback on your boundaries.

• You’ll discover the most common pushback and have your self-protective yet loving and compassionate responses ready in advance.
• You’ll learn that you can empathize with the discomfort your partner feels from your enforcement, yet and still hold your boundaries firmly.

You’ll use your Voice to be seen, heard and known for exactly what’s going on with you, and what your needs are.

• Use my bullet-proof fill-in-the-blank 5 sentence formula worksheet that becomes your script to master boundary statements made with love and care for others, without guilt
• You’ll hold people accountable for their problematic behavior in a calm and loving way.
• You’ll get clear on, and communicate specifically what you need to see from your partner (and others) to give them access to you and your heart. 
• You’ll also learn to make requests in a way that puts the focus on you, your feelings, and your needs, that leaves no room for the recipient to accuse you of blaming, belligerence or being controlling.

In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need boundaries, but the reality is people cross those lines either intentionally or un-intentionally.

It’s our right and responsibility to protect ourselves with boundaries and help those people learn what the natural result of their behavior is, for their own good and ours. Enforcing is never easy but allowing the violation to continue is even less comfortable.

• You’ll learn how to validate your own feelings and reality, identify your needs, and enact the plan you made in Module 5.
• You’ll learn the importance of documenting the behavior of your sexually addicted partner and why that’s important data about the health of your relationship, and their commitment to putting the relationship ahead of their addiction.